Even Though You're Not The Hero
by thatsoddlyromantic
Summary: Carmilla decides to try and make Laura feel better about everything that's been going on at Silas. (Mostly) canon compliant with season 2.


The floor audibly creaked and Carmilla emerged from the trap door hidden below. Laura took a step back, caught off guard by the vampire's sudden reappearance. Even though it was late at night she hadn't expected Carmilla to come up – and without Mattie, nonetheless. The two of them had been practically inseparable since Mattie had arrived in their new residence, which irritated Laura to no end. Especially since Mattie acted like she had the run of the place. Which she technically did now that the Dean was dead but well, that was beside the point.

"Carm? What are you doing up here?" Laura wondered aloud.

Carmilla stood only a few feet away from Laura, who didn't quite know what to say or do next. A moment of awkward silence passed between them before Carmilla decided to speak up.

"So I was thinking, buttercup," she said in an even tone, "we need to have a little talk."

The way Carmilla said the word "talk" made Laura feel slighly uneasy. She shifted her stance a little.

"Oh, ok… um, what did you want to talk about, exactly?" Laura asked cautiously.

"There's something I need to tell you. It might – it might make you feel a little better about everything that's been going on."

"Well I guess I could use a bit of cheering up." Laura said, giving a halfhearted smile.

Carmilla crossed her arms, facing the shorter girl directly.

"Here's the thing. Mattie's right. It's because of the fact that I keep protecting you that you're still here. You know it. I know it. If it wasn't for me you'd be just another one of those dead girls, meeting an untimely end because there was no possible way to defend yourself from such a great evil."

Carmilla shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well that's… comforting." Laura said, unsure of where Carmilla was going with all this. "And that's supposed to make me feel better how?"

Carmilla sighed, running a hand through her dark wavy hair.

"Look. The reason I'm doing all of this – not campaigning to lead the students of Silas, forming an alliance with Maddie, distancing myself from you… it's not because I don't want to be with you. It's because I can't be with you. At least... not right now."

At this, Laura tensed up a little.

"What do you mean?" Carmilla walked over to the couch and sat down, with Laura following not too far behind.

"If you'd lived through all that I have, seen this unforgiving world through centuries of suffering and heartbreak, you'd understand. And well, you know what happens to those who get too close to me."

Carmilla paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. She edged closer to Laura, looking directly into her eyes before proceeding.

"Creampuff. Yes, you are idealistic, and stubborn, and sometimes a little naïve. You see the world in black and white as opposed to the various shades of grey it's made up of, wanting nothing more than for truth and justice to prevail. But your wide-eyed optimism is refreshing, and it lets you see the good in everyone… even when they don't see it themselves. Mattie might find your glass half-full personality annoying but that's only because she doesn't know you like I do. And I kinda like that about you."

Carmilla smiled at Laura warmly. Laura could feel her heart swell with emotion.

"But you have to understand, I'm not what you want me to be. I'm not a hero, Laura. I'm not going to be the one to swoop in and save the day when people are in danger. I'm the one the hero needs saving from."

The expression on Laura's face fell.

"Carm...I..."

She trailed off mid-sentence, unsure of what to say.

"If it wasn't for me, none of this would be happening right now. Silas could collapse at any minute and no one will be spared if it does. That's why I can't be with you... because you're safer without me."

Laura's eyes welled up with tears and Carmilla felt a sharp pang in her chest. She hated seeing Laura cry - especially when she was the one causing it.

"Remember how I asked you if you missed me, and you said it felt like someone cut a hole in you?" Carmilla asked softly.

Laura nodded.

"Well unlike my sister, my heart is perfectly intact, beating inside my chest at this very moment. Which means I can feel everything. Elation. Despair. Heartbreak."

The full meaning of Carmilla's words sunk in and Laura's eyes widened with realization.

"Carm... did you… did you really love me?"

A moment of silence passed over the room.

"Yes. I did."

Another pause.

"And I still do."

A tear slid down Laura's cheek.

"I'm sorry. For everything. I never should have forced that whole "heroic vampire girlfriend" ideal on you. That was stupid and naïve and I guess... I guess I only saw what I wanted to see."

She forced a smile, trying not to cry.

"Hey, hey it's okay, Laura," Carmilla said comfortingly, offering a gentle smile in return.

"I understand now. You are who you are. And you're right, maybe you're not the hero I wanted you to be. But..." Laura's voice wavered slightly.

"But what, cupcake?"

"But that doesn't mean... it doesn't mean I don't love you." Laura finally blurted out.

She met Carmilla's gaze, searching for a reaction. The two of them locked eyes for a brief moment before Carmilla leaned forward, closing the gap between them.

Laura was taken by surprise. Her immediate reaction was to kiss Carmilla back, their lips colliding together like an explosion of stars. It had felt like an eternity since they had shared in such an intimate moment, and she missed the way it felt. She closed her eyes and savoured the feeling of Carmilla's lips upon her own, the intoxicating taste she craved that contained hints of both sweetness and bitterness. Before she could fully comprehend what was happening, Carmilla gently broke away from the kiss.

Laura's eyes fluttered open. She opened her mouth to speak but instead found herself overwhelmed with emotion. The words she longed to form sat dormant on the tip of her tongue, silenced by her elevated heartbeat.

 _I love you, Carm,_ she wanted to say _. I really do. And I don't care if it's safer to be without you because I can't stand the thought of you not being here. And missing you hurts like hell._

"I should probably go back down there," Carmilla said quietly, gesturing to the trap door from which she had surfaced.

She got up from the couch they were currently positioned on and began walking over to the opposite corner of the room. Once she had reached the trap door, Carmilla paused. She looked back at Laura.

"I want you to think of that kiss as a promise," Carmilla said. "A promise... that when all of this is done with, when there aren't any supernatural forces or power-hungry corporations to fight and it's safe for us to be together again... we will be. Can you do that?"

Laura could tell that Carmilla meant every word of what she said. There was a genuine vulnerability in her tone that made Laura want to believe that what Carmilla said was true, that they would have the chance to be together once again.

"Yeah - I can do that," Laura said quietly.

"Good. Then so can I."

Carmilla smiled reassuringly at Laura, then turned and began her descent down the hidden staircase and into the darkness. Once she was gone, Laura replayed the night's events in her mind, a smile slowly finding its way across her lips.

 _Maybe, just maybe, things will be okay after all._


End file.
